STEPS TO FREEDOM THROUGH FORGIVENESS
Have you ever experienced any of the following hurts?
Being lied to |
Rejected by family |
Slandered/falsely |
Treated unfairly by an employer |
Continuous hurtful words or actions |
Promise broken |
Alcoholic parent/mate |
Abused (physically, emotionally, sexually) |
Mate committed adultery |
Divorced by mate |
Violent crime against self/loved one |
Abandoned by parent or mate |
Stolen from |
Parents divorced |
Belittled |
Neglected by grown children |
Cheated in business/finances |
Publicly humiliated |
As you reflect on the ways you have been offended, do you find any of these statement to be true?
_ Every time I think of the person or offense, I still feel angry.
_ I have a secret desire to see the person pay for what they did (revenge).
_ Deep in my heart, I wouldn't mind if something bad happened to the person.
_ I sometimes find myself telling others how the person hurt me.
_ If the person's name comes up, I think and say something negative.
_ I cannot thank God for the person or the lessons learned during the pain.
_ I have a secret desire to see the person pay for what they did (revenge).
_ Deep in my heart, I wouldn't mind if something bad happened to the person.
_ I sometimes find myself telling others how the person hurt me.
_ If the person's name comes up, I think and say something negative.
_ I cannot thank God for the person or the lessons learned during the pain.
Unforgiveness is choosing to hold onto the pain of the offense as if you are justified to keep a record of wrongs. Saying yes to any of the above is an indication you have not fully forgiven those who have sinned against you.
When someone offends us, our hearts get broken. We initially respond by feeling hurt, angry, etc. That is a normal response. Remembering the Offense when we think of the person keeps us connected to the pain of the offense. That pain is held in place by unforgiveness.
We have added our sin of unforgiveness on top of their sinful offense.
Forgiveness is not ignoring, tolerating, excusing, overlooking, or closing your eyes to the offense. It is not letting time pass, forgetting or pretending it didn't happen or saying, "Well, that's just the way they are."
Forgiveness is a command of God. It is the path back into an obedient relationship with Christ. it also allows us to find healing from the pain that comes from being hurt by others. It is releasing the offender from his debt. It is a promise never to bring up the offense against him again to God, to others or to the offender himself.
Is there unforgiveness in your heart?
When someone offends us, our hearts get broken. We initially respond by feeling hurt, angry, etc. That is a normal response. Remembering the Offense when we think of the person keeps us connected to the pain of the offense. That pain is held in place by unforgiveness.
We have added our sin of unforgiveness on top of their sinful offense.
Forgiveness is not ignoring, tolerating, excusing, overlooking, or closing your eyes to the offense. It is not letting time pass, forgetting or pretending it didn't happen or saying, "Well, that's just the way they are."
Forgiveness is a command of God. It is the path back into an obedient relationship with Christ. it also allows us to find healing from the pain that comes from being hurt by others. It is releasing the offender from his debt. It is a promise never to bring up the offense against him again to God, to others or to the offender himself.
Is there unforgiveness in your heart?
Find the truth about what god says about forgiveness in the bible
Do you believe any of these statements?
A. "There is no way I could ever forgive the person for the offense. They hurt me too deeply."
1. What are some of the hurts Jesus suffered from us?
Isaiah 53: 3-7
2. How has God dealt with us who have sinned against Him?
Ephesians 2:4-5
Hebrews 10:17
Micah 7:18-19
3. How did Jesus command us to respond to those who wrong us?
Luke 6:27
Romans 12:17-21
Luke 17: 3-4
4. According to Colossians 3:13, what should be the measure (the standard) of our forgiveness?
On that basis, what offense is too great to forgive?
Would God command us to do something that He would not enable us to do?
How are we enabled to forgive (Philippians 2:13)
B. "They don't deserve to be forgiven."
1. What did we do to earn or deserve God's forgiveness?
Romans 5:8
Ephesians 2:4-9
2. What are the reasons we should forgive those who sin against us?
a. The offender is genuinely sorry for what he has done.
b. The offender promises never to do it again.
c. The offense was an "understandable mistake."
d. I have been forgiven by God, so I should forgive as I have been forgiven.
e. God commands me to forgive
C. "I've forgiven them, but I'll never be able to forget what they did."
1. According to the Scriptures, when God forgives us, what does He promise to do?
Jeremiah 31:34; Hebrew 10:17
Psalm 103:12
Remember: Forgiveness is a transaction in which you release your debtor from the obligation to repay his debt. An omniscient God cannot forget. But He promises not to "remember our sins" or hold them against us. God does not ask us to forget the wrong that has been done to us, but to simply forgive. He'll do the rest. He will heal our heart and over time the pain from the wrong will diminish.
D. "I really have forgiven, but I still struggle with feelings of hurt."
According to the follow passages, what must we be willing to do, in addition to forgiving those who sin against us?
Luke 6:27-21
Romans 12:17-21
Remember: When possible, we can ask the Lord to help us to rebuild the relationship between ourselves and the offender. In situations where this is not possible or appropriate, we can show our trust in the Lord by praying for them.
E. "I won't forgive!"
Read Matthew 18:21-35 The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant.
1. Ultimately, forgiveness comes down to a choice. it is a choice that God both commands and enables. Some simply refuse to make that choice. According to Scripture, what can we expect if we refuse to forgive?
Matthew 18:32-35
2. What are some of the physical, emotional, and spiritual "tortures" we might experience in our lives if we are unwilling to forgive?
Matthew 18:34
3. What happened to the fellow servant who asked for patience from the servant whose debt was just forgiven?
Matthew 18:30
The jailed fellow servant is still in prison by the end of the story. This shows the power of unforgiveness not only binds us but also binds the person we refuse to forgive. In reality, our unforgiveness affects many.
A. "There is no way I could ever forgive the person for the offense. They hurt me too deeply."
1. What are some of the hurts Jesus suffered from us?
Isaiah 53: 3-7
2. How has God dealt with us who have sinned against Him?
Ephesians 2:4-5
Hebrews 10:17
Micah 7:18-19
3. How did Jesus command us to respond to those who wrong us?
Luke 6:27
Romans 12:17-21
Luke 17: 3-4
4. According to Colossians 3:13, what should be the measure (the standard) of our forgiveness?
On that basis, what offense is too great to forgive?
Would God command us to do something that He would not enable us to do?
How are we enabled to forgive (Philippians 2:13)
B. "They don't deserve to be forgiven."
1. What did we do to earn or deserve God's forgiveness?
Romans 5:8
Ephesians 2:4-9
2. What are the reasons we should forgive those who sin against us?
a. The offender is genuinely sorry for what he has done.
b. The offender promises never to do it again.
c. The offense was an "understandable mistake."
d. I have been forgiven by God, so I should forgive as I have been forgiven.
e. God commands me to forgive
C. "I've forgiven them, but I'll never be able to forget what they did."
1. According to the Scriptures, when God forgives us, what does He promise to do?
Jeremiah 31:34; Hebrew 10:17
Psalm 103:12
Remember: Forgiveness is a transaction in which you release your debtor from the obligation to repay his debt. An omniscient God cannot forget. But He promises not to "remember our sins" or hold them against us. God does not ask us to forget the wrong that has been done to us, but to simply forgive. He'll do the rest. He will heal our heart and over time the pain from the wrong will diminish.
D. "I really have forgiven, but I still struggle with feelings of hurt."
According to the follow passages, what must we be willing to do, in addition to forgiving those who sin against us?
Luke 6:27-21
Romans 12:17-21
Remember: When possible, we can ask the Lord to help us to rebuild the relationship between ourselves and the offender. In situations where this is not possible or appropriate, we can show our trust in the Lord by praying for them.
E. "I won't forgive!"
Read Matthew 18:21-35 The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant.
1. Ultimately, forgiveness comes down to a choice. it is a choice that God both commands and enables. Some simply refuse to make that choice. According to Scripture, what can we expect if we refuse to forgive?
Matthew 18:32-35
2. What are some of the physical, emotional, and spiritual "tortures" we might experience in our lives if we are unwilling to forgive?
Matthew 18:34
3. What happened to the fellow servant who asked for patience from the servant whose debt was just forgiven?
Matthew 18:30
The jailed fellow servant is still in prison by the end of the story. This shows the power of unforgiveness not only binds us but also binds the person we refuse to forgive. In reality, our unforgiveness affects many.
Choosing to forgive
Do you desire to be set free from the prison of unforgiveness? Are you ready to choose the pathway of forgiveness? If so, Here are some steps that will help you to deal with the hurts and offenses you have experienced
1. Make a list of the people who have wronged you. Next to each name, write their offense(s) against you. Then record your response.
2. As Christ has forgiven you, fully forgive each offender and offense. Forgiveness is not a feeling: rather it is a choice and an act of your free will. It is a commitment to clear the other person's record, and no longer hold that offense against them. Included is repenting for your unforgiveness.
Pray:
Dear Heavenly Father, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I purpose and choose to forgive (name) from my heart for
(what they did) I release (name) and cancel their debts and obligations to me in this issue. (name) owes me nothing.
Dear Lord, I ask You to forgive me for my bitterness toward (name) in this issue.
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I cancel satan's power, authority, programming and assignment over me in this issue because I have forgiven them and God has forgiven me. it is done and over with.
Now in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I command all the tormentors that have been assigned to me because of my unforgiveness to leave me now.
Father, I release (name) into the fullness of my forgiveness.
Holy Spirit please come and heal my broken heart, heal what this has done to my body and tell me Your truth about this situation. (Listen to what the Holy Spirit says to you).
3. After you have prayed through each person, destroy the list. Do not tell the offender they have been forgiven. That isn't necessary and may cause more conflict. You forgiveness of them was between you and God.
4. Forgiving the person doesn't produce reconciliation or trust. You have done your part by forgiving the person and repenting of unforgiveness. Full reconciliation and trust, is something you leave in God's hands.
5. "Confirm your love" (2 Corinthians 2:8). Lord for ways to "return good for evil" - that is, to invest positively in the lives of those who have offended you. Pray for God to bless and spiritually restore them.
6. Maintain your forgiveness. If more toxic thoughts surface, forgive again! If a thought resurfaces and tempts you to remember old feelings that you have already forgiven, stop and resist the thought! Tell the tempter to leave in Jesus' name. Remember it's finished in God's eyes and should be in yours as well.
7. Thank God for your changed heart!
2. As Christ has forgiven you, fully forgive each offender and offense. Forgiveness is not a feeling: rather it is a choice and an act of your free will. It is a commitment to clear the other person's record, and no longer hold that offense against them. Included is repenting for your unforgiveness.
Pray:
Dear Heavenly Father, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I purpose and choose to forgive (name) from my heart for
(what they did) I release (name) and cancel their debts and obligations to me in this issue. (name) owes me nothing.
Dear Lord, I ask You to forgive me for my bitterness toward (name) in this issue.
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I cancel satan's power, authority, programming and assignment over me in this issue because I have forgiven them and God has forgiven me. it is done and over with.
Now in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I command all the tormentors that have been assigned to me because of my unforgiveness to leave me now.
Father, I release (name) into the fullness of my forgiveness.
Holy Spirit please come and heal my broken heart, heal what this has done to my body and tell me Your truth about this situation. (Listen to what the Holy Spirit says to you).
3. After you have prayed through each person, destroy the list. Do not tell the offender they have been forgiven. That isn't necessary and may cause more conflict. You forgiveness of them was between you and God.
4. Forgiving the person doesn't produce reconciliation or trust. You have done your part by forgiving the person and repenting of unforgiveness. Full reconciliation and trust, is something you leave in God's hands.
5. "Confirm your love" (2 Corinthians 2:8). Lord for ways to "return good for evil" - that is, to invest positively in the lives of those who have offended you. Pray for God to bless and spiritually restore them.
6. Maintain your forgiveness. If more toxic thoughts surface, forgive again! If a thought resurfaces and tempts you to remember old feelings that you have already forgiven, stop and resist the thought! Tell the tempter to leave in Jesus' name. Remember it's finished in God's eyes and should be in yours as well.
7. Thank God for your changed heart!
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At Shalom Center, we believe in healing for soul, mind and body. With the authority given to us by Jesus, we can stand together for restoration.
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